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On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.'In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into...
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I was on the bottom rung of the music business.Then my new friend Dewey invited me to play a basket-house night with him in the middle of nowhere.Now I'm convincing him of my musical worth like my life depends on it because, for all I know, it does.This is a short-story in the Artists Of Leaves End universe.(Also available in an earlier form in Street Apples Magazine #1)
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Biggsy's challenging school year continues into the spring term. The 50-year-old head of English at a West London boys' secondary school is at a critical point in his career. Jaded with the state education system and nearing professional burnout, he prepares for a change of role in the school.
The new year started badly, with health issues resulting in him being rushed to the local casualty ward. At school, problems abound as the new term starts....
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It's New Year's Eve in New York City. Your best friend died in September, you've been robbed twice, your girlfriend is leaving you, you've lost your job...and the only one left to talk to is the gay burglar you've got tied up in the kitchen... P.S. your cat is dead.
An instant classic upon its initial publication, P.S. Your Cat is Dead received widespread critical acclaim and near fanatical reader devotion. The stage version of the novel was equally...
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Gente ansiosa es una desenfrenada comedia sobre un robo fallido que termina en un grupo de personas siendo mantenidas en cautiverio durante la jornada de puertas abiertas de un apartamento.
Una sola mala idea: una mala idea de verdad. No hace falta más.
Un fallido ladrón de bancos se encierra junto a una agente inmobiliaria excesivamente entusiasta, dos rencorosos adictos a IKEA, una mujer embarazada, un multimillonario suicida y un maldito conejo....
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When investigative reporter Kerry McDonough finds double-dealing Senator Ralph van Patten dead in her bed, she can't call the police. Any investigation would paint her as suspect Number 1, putting her in an unwanted spotlight. Plus if it gets out that she slept with an interview subject, her career would be blown out of the water. And she couldn't live with herself if people knew she was with a slimy Republican!Instead, Kerry calls her jack-of-all-trades...
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"Hope", one must have it, for, without hope, what else is there? "Cockroachalisms, Life Lessons Learned On My Journey Through Life", allow the guru of wellness that is Xavier Cockroachal Damon to lead you down the path of happiness with life lessons only he could teach. "Motel Hell", the place where lost souls dwell. "Climb from Hell", Supustrus is trying to rescue himself and his wife by escaping hell. Will they make it? "Gus Versus the Evil Gods",...
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"Dude, can you hurry up so we can party?" my mates asked.I switched gears to proofreading one of my more autobiographical pieces focussed on how much I've matured over the years. Like a superb and resonant champagne, I've improved with time.It would no doubt take my mind off a debilitating sadness caused by a horrendous tragedy. My old friend Albert of the Royal New Zealand Army had recently become unemployed and dead at the same time when he was...
12) World War Moo
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Series
Description
It began with a cow that just wouldn't die. Yep. That's right. They're still un-dead, and now the disease has spread to humans. The epidemic that transformed Britain's bovine population into a blood-thirsty, brain-grazing, zombie horde...err...zombie herd... is threatening to take over the globe in Michael Logan's World War Moo.
And there's not much time left to stop it. All of Great Britain is infected and hungry. The rest of the world has a tough...
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Description
Chris Benson looks up to his older brother. In fact, everyone looks up to Chris's older brother. Most have no choice when they're lying on their stomachs in the middle of Barclays bank. But when Gavin Benson gets sent down for 15 years, the somewhat unprofessional trio of Chris, Sid and Vince are left without a ringleader. As if Chris hasn't got enough problems, his adulterous partner Debbie is spending money faster than he can steal it, his sexually...
14) Platypus
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Description
A short novel. The book follows the story of Cyrus, a man that finds himself in quite the peculiar predicament. For reasons, and by methods he cannot comprehend, he is repeatedly transported to a disturbing, bizarre location where he is subjected to unspeakable horrors, and where he encounters characters that defy all reason, and where nothing that happens ever makes any sense, at all. Is it all just a bad dream? He sets about uncovering the secrets...
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Description
A gay man and a black woman meet in the woods outside Leadville, Colorado. Well, they don't really meet. They run into each other when the gay man (Quincy) is running from the cult of Tree Tree McForest Face and the black woman (Maya) is running away from two QAnon conspiracy theorists who have just dissected their friend in an attempt to find evidence of a deep state plot to weaponize gayness to reverse global warming. A pursuit through the Colorado...
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The six women of the Knitting Circle meet every week to chat, eat cake, and make fabulous sweaters. Until the night they realize that they've all survived rape-and that not one of their assailants has suffered a single consequence. Enough is enough. The Knitting Circle becomes the Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad. They declare open season on rapists, with no licenses and no bag limits. With needles as their weapons, the revolution begins.
A...
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Tom was living a normal life. He had a girlfriend that would soon move in with him, a group of loyal friends that played boardgames with him, and a good job that he didn't hate and paid well. Nothing lasts forever, though, especially good things. One day, he died changing a light bulb. And then, he got up again.What will he do, being the world's first zombie? How will he keep himself hidden? And how will he manage the fact that he can see dead people?...
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A wealthy man is shocked to discover that he's dead-and worse yet, he must find out who it was that killed him . . .
Adam Albury, a successful architect, finds himself at a funeral in his local church. Scanning the aisles and seeing his family and friends dressed somberly in black, he's shocked to learn the service is for him. Adam, now no more than a hovering spirit, is even more astonished to hear his death was ruled a suicide.
The ghostly...
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Description
Two old scallywags break a silly law to "prove" the extinct Tasmanian Tiger lives on.But that's just for starters in this six-novel bundle based on the island of Tasmania at the bottom of Australia.The two octogenarians don't just want to alter the course of ecological history. They also want to make sure the former mayor gets what he deserves.They take a detour to Ireland, where one of them inherits a castle and descends into a whole lot of trouble,...
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